Thoughts

I’m seriously just laying here, and I cannot get him out of my head.
I want things to work so badly.
And honestly, I think they’re going to…
That scares the living fuck out of me.
I feel like my hopes are already pretty high.
It’s hard for me to have faith in many things.
I know in the past that I’ve said that I thought things were going to work out, and life would be okay.
But it’s never been this way.
I know things are going to be okay, because they’re so incredibly more than okay right now.
It’s just this feeling that has sunk deep into my core, and no matter how much I try to shake it… It’s a part of me now.
A huge part of my life.
He’s going to be something so significant to me.
Actually, he’s already becoming that.
Slowly, maybe… But surely.
Not only is he going to be significant, but he’s also going to be significantly different.
He’s not an asshole.
He’s not a douchebag.
He’s not a user or a liar.
I don’t see him having the capability of screwing anyone over… Especially not me.
I’ve always had to make excuses for everyone else, or have had to convince myself I was the exception to all their shitty rules and bullshit games.
But not with him…
And right now, I really just want to be close to him.
In an innocent way, too.
I am so eager to discover if this is actually going to go the way that I believe it is…
I want him to hold me, and kiss me, and just be near me.
But I guess that will all happen in due time.
Definitely not in at least the next week or so, because his beautiful face is all the way in Chicago.
It might be a good thing that the things which could potentially happen can’t right now.
I think I need slow.
Life has been far too fast recently.
Maybe this is the way it needs to be for the relationship to develop correctly?
Things are going to happen, though, eventually.
I have no doubt.
Good things, too.
I’m really happy that I met this guy.
~CC.